Bubblegum
Man (Scott)
Bubblegum
Man (Scott)
Chorus: I am bubblegum man,
chew my bubblegum if you can.
I am bubblegum man,
bubblegum is me.
See the little girl with the red dress on,
she can bubblegum all night long.
See the little girl with the red dress on,
she will dance with me.
See the old man with the worn-out shoes,
he can bubblegum if he choose.
See the old man with the worn-out shoes,
he will laugh at me.
Francine (Scott)
Francine,
she's the girl who cleans
the office at 5:02.
In her blue boo jeans,
she's the vacuum queen
and she knows just what to do.
Francine,
signifying teen,
she's the princess of my world.
When the place is clean,
she splits the scene,
she's a big boss janitor girl.
You're the one for me,
sha la la lee
Francine.
Francine,
she's squeeky clean.
She really knows how to work that broom.
Francine,
now don't be mean,
why don't you come up and do my room?
Francine,
signifying teen,
you're the princess of my world.
When the place is clean,
you splits the scene,
she's a big boss janitor girl.
You're the one for me,
sha la la lee
Francine.
Mindless Boogie (Scott)
Well, I wrote this song on somebody's lawn
on the back of an envelope.
I was stinking drunk as all get out
and strung out on some dope.
I was with some babe,
I can't remember her name,
but she knew where it was at.
So I wrote her this song
on somebody's lawn
in fifteen minutes flat.
My, my, my
Mindless boogie.
Truck on down the turnpike til the end.
My, my, my
Mindless boogie.
Get down, mama,
get back up again.
Well, clothes were old
and I smelt like mold
and I drove a Snapple truck.
Til I wrote this song on somebody's lawn
and it kinda changed my luck.
Now me and my song is just chewing along,
you can't play this twaddle slow.
And they can't get enough of this kinda shit
on classical rock radio.
Chorus x 2
Danger
3rd Rail (Scott)
Chorus: Danger 3rd rail,
cross the line and you'll get fried.
Danger 3rd rail,
what a way to go.
I once know a dude named Dan,
he thought he was real man's man.
So without looking back,
he took a walk on the track
and grilled like franks on a frying pan.
(Chorus)
Do you remember Angel Clair?
She could not resist a dare.
So to get her own back,
she tinkled on the track.
Now Angel Clair is everywhere.
(Chorus)
Danger 3rd rail,
cross the line and you'll get fried.
Danger 3rd rail,
what a way to glow.
Blow Pop Sun (Scott)
Summer time means summer love
under the blow pop sun.
Orangina skies above
under the blow pop sun.
Yuppie couples make romance
under the blow pop sun.
Skate punks do their skate punk dance
under the blow pop sun.
Do do do you remember?
Do do do you recall?
Teeny boppers strut their stuff
under the blow pop sun.
Mom and Dad scream "That's enough!"
under the blow pop sun.
Hanging out at Au Bon Pain
under the blow pop sun.
Listening to bad alt rock bands
under the blow pop sun.
Do do do you remember?
Do do do you recall?
In and out of sprinkler spray
under the blow pop sun.
Cocoa butter stand display
under the blow pop sun.
Playing checkers under trees
under the blow pop sun.
Stale patchouli on the breeze
under the blow pop sun.
Do do do you remember?
Do do do you recall?
Take a trip to Sunshine Zoo
under the blow pop sun.
(We will) open up some hydrets too
under the blow pop sun.
Slumming to the nth degree
under the blow pop sun.
Chugging mugs of icy tea,
under the blow pop sun.
Do do do you remember?
Do do do you recall?
Summer people, summer clothes,
under the blow pop sun.
Running under the garden hose,
under the blow pop sun.
Watching Shaggy and Scooby Doo,
under the blow pop sun.
While Uncle Pete quaffs another brew
under the blow pop sun.
Do do do you remember?
Do do do you recall?
Dost thou dost thou remember?
Dost thou dost thou recall?
Channel 23 (Scott)
Chorus: Channel 23,
Channel 23.
Pornographic cable entertainment
just for me.
If you're feeling hungry
for some late-night nudity.
Switch on that happening telly,
turn to Channel 23.
Adolscent Oriental geishas aim to please
just dial 1-900-607-TEASE.
And Mistress Annabella's into toys, she's built for speed,
dial 1-900-VENUS, she's the stimulant you need.
(Chorus)
If you wanna party with two swinging cups of tea
give 1-900-TWINS a ring, they'll be there instantly.
And if you're into leather, Candy hands the girl to be
she'll strap you to a table and she'll spank you on the knee.
(Chorus) x 2
Soon:
Bartleby (Stone-Scott)
I wear a mask for a face.
It's the only thing that keeps me company.
There's egg on your face.
Cause your answers are too damn skunkity.
I can't be to blame,
I know that you want something.
I walk in the rain,
and I turn into the midnight pumpkin.
Chorus: I like it,
you like it alot.
We like it,
she likes it alot.
Two steps in the grave.
You were shopping for day-old candy.
It's the love that you crave,
but you're always kicking sand at me.
Into the ravine
your body's like a plastic mannequin.
I know that you're green
but your color is only flattering.
(Chorus)
I wear a mask for a face.
It's the only thing that keeps me company.
There's egg on your face.
Cause your answers are too damn skunkity.
I can't be to blame,
I know that you want something.
I walk in the rain,
and I turn into the midnight pumpkin.
Wannitbad (Scott)
Turn my troubles up-side down,
ride your pony through my town.
Naked when the sun goes down
in Italy.
Wrap my dreams in golden fleece
and take your clothes off piece by piece,
but leave your ankle bracelets on
where I can see.
Every woman across the nation
needs a little love vibration.
Get down on your knees and cum all over me,
Over me.
Chorus: I want it bad.
I want it bad.
I want it bad.
Now the morning brings in the sun.
I'm late for work, it's 9:01.
You know I hate to hit and run--
I feel ashamed.
So I shower off the sweat
and rush like hell through my toliet
and promise that I won't forget you--
what's your name?
Every woman across the nation
needs a little inspiration
and a man needs masturbation everyday,
Everyday.
(Chorus x 2)
Hung
Like a Horse (Scott)
God's been very good to me
where it counts as you can see.
Life is short but I am long
in matters of love, I can't be wrong.
You're my little chestnut mare,
making every stallion stare.
Pretty pony, be my bride.
I'll take you for a righteous ride,
cause I'm . . .
Chorus: Hung like a horse, a hey hey.
Hung like a horse, a hey hey.
Hung like a horse, a hey hey.
Hung like a horse, a hey hey.
I got style and I got grace.
I win every stepplechase.
It don't take much to spur me on.
I'm slicker than a Lippanzon.
I'll love you til the rooster crows.
I'll love you til the cow's come home.
I'll love you morning, noon, and night.
Come on over, I won't bite.
(Chorus x 2)
Mama Godiva (Scott)
You came into my life all tattered and torn,
Like the doctor spanked your mom on the day you were born.
You're daddy's little girl with your hair hanging down.
You're a two-faced tease when your feet leave the ground.
Chorus: Time made you no wiser.
La, la, la, la, la, Mama Godiva.
You're a stone cold sun in the midnight sky.
You're a razor blade in my cherry pie.
You're a bombshell blonde in a hippie shirt.
I dig you like I dig the dirt.
(Chorus)
You're a PYT on LSD,
(You're) Sweeter than a Crunchberry.
I give to you so easily
but you give it back to me so sleazily.
(Chorus)
Dubblbubbldandylionluv (Eden)
I smile everyday,
Cause I know,
That I got someone to smile for.
And life is okay.
Well, it's more than that,
It's fun for while for
Bridge: All the times I cried and cried I never thought I ever find
A love as sweet as you.
And now that's sweetness everywhere,
We go, the people stop and stare
And all can see.
Chorus: That you're my candy sweet
And satisifying,
Sugar honey,
Apple pie-ing,
Double bubble
Dandilion love.
But you're so much more
Than my honey bun,
I'm living for your love.
You're sweet to the core,
You're the only one
and I'll give you more love.
(Bridge)
(Chorus x 2) Clientele (Scott)
I'm pissed.
You're stupid.
Let's have sex and make more of us.
You're pissed.
I'm stupid.
Let's take drugs tonight.
I'm hot.
You're horny.
Let's beat off with razor blades.
You're hot.
I'm horny.
Let's take drugs tonight.
Drown me in my bathtub,
And laugh hysterically.
Put thumbtacks in my Cheerios,
a hoo hoo hee hee hee.
Infinity Forever
It's no obligation,
if you tell the truth.
There'll be no comdemnation
to the tightness of the noose.
Wanna tell me now,
you think that you're so clever.
Meet me if you dare,
infinity forever.
Shades of cane and sugar,
rising to the sky.
In this new-born stillness,
souls of yester lie.
Little girl lost,
you think it will be better.
So meet me if you care,
infinity forever.
Sinners and saints alike,
no one should have spite,
they will come a'calling,
and you will be a'falling
down, down, down--
do you know what you'll do?
Feel no competition,
the world it only goes.
Be careful what you wish for,
[grabbled] keep what first you must sow.
We know that carry not,
go ahead and pull the lever.
So, meet me know not where,
infinity forever.
So now we've come this far,
and ending to a start.
they will think its risen.
but it's only torn apart.
Hestitate when you will.
Nights that will be never.
So meet me in the pool,
infinity forever.
Wanna tell me now,
you think that you're so clever.
Meet me if you dare,
infinity forever.
Infinity forever (x5)
More to come: "Living On Oatmeal," "Crunchy Sam," "No More Dime Store," "Sands of Thyme," "The Weird Old Wind," "Syd the Hippie Squid," "Solitaire for Two," "Snowman on the Moon," and about as much of the in-jokes as I can get from the one-line wonders "Mr. Tinfoil" and "The Crimson Weirdo Ate My Brain."
Drawings by Mr. Scott, so please don't steal, mmmkay?
Here, here, everywhere